About Me

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My work is the fruit of who I am. Does not matter if I like it or not, I am an artist. It comes from an intrinsic need..it is my imagination pulsing to come alive... I create an image and call that the essence of my soul and allege that it is just enough to explain everything else in my whole life. Now at this stage of my existence, I am far away from the time when these things may caused me embarrassment. What? An artist? What do you mean by that? I mean an artist, just an artist It is simple like that.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

The Horrible Face Of Loneliness

The Loneliness looked exactly like this creature when I looked at it for the first time. It was placed at one of the ceiling corners, completely still and watching me with eagle eyes. Not knowing what to do, I opened and fixed my eyes, staring at it with fear and wonder…

 I stopped writing a bit, just to comfort myself from the feeling of anger that still invades my heart reminiscing that bizarre moment. How awful could that be? To find a freak like that, hidden in your space, carving its way into your life…the first question was- since when it was there and where it came from. The visual still brings an agony to my soul and my desire is to make it disappear like a paper ripped by an agitated boy.

Of course, I did not know what to do. I could not possibly fight back, that was a coward match, was simply a monster attacking a kid.  This happened in my pre teenager years, once in awhile It comes to my mind but today I gave it a face- I draw it to show you how obnoxious the weirdo was. In all those years, this mutant came along with me for long journeys; it accompanied me at school, tried to splash itself in my bedroom and insisted in walk with me through the parks.

I could write a book to tell the outcome of that experience. I even wrote a few songs about it. I also learned to cook, invited friends and people that I barely knew for dinner. I learned to forgive, to let it go, to give without receiving, but I always felt like I was missing something…

My healing only came after understanding that I was, actually not alone. The Lord Himself was with me.  Oh my!!!!! How could I not see Him before? The cross goes up and down (vertical), meaning Him and me fist. Then it put me in the middle and goes towards my right and towards my left (horizontal). I am, exactly, in the center of the universe” I calmed myself down completely and felt my heart comforted. If “Loneliness is really a form of neediness”, I am all set. http://bit.ly/9Y5V6O
Ah, where is the creature that was in the ceiling corner? I starved it to death when I learned to love and nurture people and accept them for who they are.

1 comment:

  1. Oh, right words "to love and nurture people and accept them for who they are"...we are just trying to be more humans.

    Lovely painting.
    See you, dear!