Thristy for God

Today I could not stand anymore. I have to come to my room, put my knees on the floor and cry in the Lord’s presence. Overwhelmed by the life style of not having God included in my life I am now succumbing. It is not cool and it is not fun to walk around serving only my own desires and interacting with destructive and disruptive forces. My spirit agonizes with a specific loneliness; I am missing a relationship with my creator so bad that I cannot even recognize myself anymore. God put the eternity in the human’s hearts, we are eternal, we had a beginning but not an end. My spirit is longing for His presence.

The amazing Psalm 42 comes to my mind and I have to bring it here.  I believe that everybody else has the same thirstiness; we all know that humankind needs the divine. 

      As the deer longs for streams of water,

so I long for you, O God.

 I thirst for God, the living God.

When can I go and stand before him?

 Day and night I have only tears for food,

while my enemies continually taunt me, saying,

“Where is this God of yours?”

 My heart is breaking

as I remember how it used to be:

I walked among the crowds of worshipers,

leading a great procession to the house of God,

singing for joy and giving thanks

amid the sound of a great celebration!

  Why am I discouraged?

Why is my heart so sad?

I will put my hope in God!

I will praise him again—

my Savior and 6 my God!

Now I am deeply discouraged,

but I will remember you—

even from distant Mount Hermon, the source of the Jordan,

from the land of Mount Mizar.

 I hear the tumult of the raging seas

as your waves and surging tides sweep over me.

 But each day the Lord pours his unfailing love upon me,

and through each night I sing his songs,

praying to God who gives me life.

 “O God my rock,” I cry,

“Why have you forgotten me?

Why must I wander around in grief,

oppressed by my enemies?”

 Their taunts break my bones.

They scoff, “Where is this God of yours?”

   Why am I discouraged?

Why is my heart so sad?

I will put my hope in God!

I will praise him again—

my Savior and my God