Looking for a Pearl
The ocean breeze in this afternoon is amazingly kind; it is refreshing and smells like joy.
I had to bring my self back to the ocean again today just because I am still hurting, but in the beginning of the process of healing from what had happened in the latest circumstances and its effect on my personal life. I was truly more calm because I had forgave my own sins yesterday, what brought balance to my emotions. When I was sitting on the sand I had a delicious moment of interaction with the colors. The sky was definitely ultramarine blue, from the horizon line and up a refreshing glaze was evaporating towards the universe, underneath that a dark green divided the scene interrelating with the blues and greens of the waves. Everything was so nice and perfect till a popping and a jumping white graciously rushes in my direction as if it is trying to reach me.
I am delighted with the gentleness I have been treating myself right now. Even thought I am feeling sad and embarrassed I am leading my mind to not practice self punishment, propensity to self hurt, to not get into blaming games, be too strict on me or too unreasonable with my own being. That is, actually the first time I see my soul getting to my side so consistently to overcome failure. Probably by now the reader is thinking that I am crazy and I am not making any sense. I am just hiding in the words that I am experiencing a difficult situation and I am counting on myself only to get my pieces together, raise my head above the water and keep on going. The exact narrative of the facts is not necessary once it is just an immense cut wide open what I can see right now. I have been hanging in there; nursing the pain I am feeling, hoping that from this wound I caused will arise a magnificent pearl which will make me a very reach person. For now thought, it is hurting like a gun shot.
Creation of a pearlhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pearl#Natural_pearls
Pearls are formed inside the shell of certain mollusks: as a defense mechanism to a potentially threatening irritant such as a parasite inside its shell, or an attack from outside, injuring the mantle tissue. The mollusk creates a pearl sac to seal off the irritation.
I wont let this pain go
without leaving me a pearl.
If it is hurting me so badly I must collect a pearl from it.